I’ve been in a number of relationships but most are memories kept away in my past that I really don’t even remember too much of. But when there is a new, fresh deep cut on your heart, it begins to overcome and shadow you everywhere you go. Its that feeling of despair and pain that just won’t seem to go away no matter how much you try and serve it therapy.

Some say that time will heal but, is it really healed? Or just pushed away until one day you’ve come across this washed up feeling again.

It may possibly be my hormones just seeking out but I know a broken heart and I know myself too much for this feeling to just leave. I can’t express how much pain I am in.

And to that certain person whose caused my tragedy, they are doing a great job in making my life shit. They are doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing… Which is drive myself crazy and into insanity and overtime convince myself that it was always my fault and that its me who fucked up everything. Damn those manipulative bitches.

All I know is that I’m weak. I may look strong but that’s only because I’m fat. I long for the moments I’m able to say that I don’t need you.. That, I don’t love you. You’re somebody that I just used to know. 

I will constantly force myself to get over you and then one day, I won’t have to force myself anymore and

I will be happy.

…. Unless you find someone new anytime soon then I will be torn into more shit so. Yeah.

Fuck.